She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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