You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
