this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
