I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i would punch a child for taco bell
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
