Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
home. puking in laundry basket.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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