yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
