there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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