the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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