i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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