the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
