I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
