I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
