the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
