Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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