Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
