He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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