She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
