The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
