tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
