Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
