that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
