it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
