It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
