ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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