I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
