yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
