Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
