My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Help. Why am I so naked?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
