well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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