yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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