how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
