you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
