Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
