He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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