Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
