im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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