I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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