Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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