She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My penis needs a shock collar
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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