so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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