Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
