This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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