no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
