I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
