I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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