piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
