I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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