Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
