she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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