Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
