she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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