C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
