So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
